People have failed to realize that there is a huge difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is the ability to hear. Everybody can hear, except the deaf ones of course. But listening is the act of hearing ATTENTIVELY. Paying attention to what the other person is saying. Any non-deaf person can hear, but it takes skill and ability to actually listen. I have never heard anyone say "That person is a very good 'hearer'" because everybody has the ability to hear except those with hearing impairments. But when people say "You are a very good listener" it is regarded as a compliment. Hearing is merely picking sound vibrations. Listening is making sense of what we hear. Listening requires paying attention, interpreting and responding to sound stimuli. And it's just too much work for my brain to handle.
There are two types of listening. There's the Passive and Active listening. Passive listening is just to hear. Active listening is to actually listen and pay attention. Effective listening is active rather than passive. In passive listening, you are like a recorder. You just stand there like a statue and absorb everything the other person is saying without any single information actually entering your brain. In active listening, you try to understand what the reader wants to communicate rather than what you want to understand. As an active listener, you try to understand what the speaker wants to communicate rather than what you want to understand. You listen objectively without judging content and you also demonstrate acceptance of what is being conveyed. Like I said earlier, my brain cannot handle this kind of stress. It's tiring. I just cannot listen no matter how hard I try. Sure, i hear you but I'm just not listening.
There are two types of listening. There's the Passive and Active listening. Passive listening is just to hear. Active listening is to actually listen and pay attention. Effective listening is active rather than passive. In passive listening, you are like a recorder. You just stand there like a statue and absorb everything the other person is saying without any single information actually entering your brain. In active listening, you try to understand what the reader wants to communicate rather than what you want to understand. As an active listener, you try to understand what the speaker wants to communicate rather than what you want to understand. You listen objectively without judging content and you also demonstrate acceptance of what is being conveyed. Like I said earlier, my brain cannot handle this kind of stress. It's tiring. I just cannot listen no matter how hard I try. Sure, i hear you but I'm just not listening.
I don't listen because I don't want to. I don't want to hear that your partner is cheating on you or you have AIDS or problems of any sort. I mean if you have a problem, take it to Jesus not me. I can't solve your problems so I don't want to hear them. I'm not a mean person, I just don't know what to say when people come to talk to me and saying the wrongest things can make them feel worse. So I just let them talk, pretend I'm listening and not say a word. Sometimes it works, especially when the person just wants to talk. I just sit and be like
Before, I always thought maintaining eye contact and making facial expressions were signs of active listening. I thought wrong. Active listening is this non verbal engagement along with a verbal confirmation of understanding or asking clarifying questions as well. When I pretend to listen, I maintain eye contact and the look on my face is more serious than Obama giving a speech. But I don't fool anyone, because they know I'm not listening. Then I start to laugh which pisses them off more. Even when I try to listen, my mind wanders off and that is worse because I'm just looking into space with this stupid look thinking about some completely stupid thing and they get pissed...AGAIN. Listening is just not my thing. Although, I hope to change and become a more effective listener don't come running to me when you need someone to talk to. I hear you, I'm just NOT listening.
